Monday, September 10, 2007

Air Sex



Air sex is the most important cultural phenomenon of the new century. It's the act of having sex with an imaginary partner and about the only way to get a sex video onto youtube.com.

The craze originated in Japan, as you would expect, and has swept the globe.

Current air sex champion Cobra admits to never having had sex with a woman, and when you read about his technique, you'll have no reason to doubt this claim.

"You can't care about what women watching your performance are thinking about you," he said. "When you get down to air sex, you've got to immerse yourself in the air sex world."

"Air sex can't be performed in half-measures," he continued. "If it is, you're only asking for trouble."

Another exponent of the art explained that in Japan, there was a massive gap between those who could get sex and those who couldn't. Air sex was a way of bridging that gap.

Arguably the finest air sex video shows an orgy featuring Peer Pressure, the first (and probably last) air sex group. These playas have names like Satisfaktion, PipeLaya and Pre$$ure and have air sex in a variety of positions - against the door, in front of the mirror and on an ottoman.

"Air sex was originally invented by guys who couldn't get girlfriends, but desperately want to have sex," explained J-Taro Sugisaku, the self-professed creator of air sex.